03 March 2011

The Facebook Effect

Yesterday, possibly insane from the euphoria of teaching, I changed my relationship status on Facebook. He of the Hopeful Yarn and I have been together for six months and this was apparently cause enough to make the according changes on his own Facebook page. I think it is somewhat hilarious to point out that I completely missed this action – my housemate had to point it out over breakfast one day – “So you’re official now, huh? You know you’re official when it’s on Facebook.” I immediately grabbed my coffee and went upstairs to confirm for myself, chugging caffeinated liquid life with one hand, typing in the web address with the other. And there it was: he’s now in a relationship. I hoped it was me he was talking about, but kept this thought to myself.

So, three days later, I changed my own relationship status. It was a new thing, really. I’ve been in relationships since joining Facebook in 2003, but never had I declared such. There was certain perlocution in this particular situation: he had validated our unit and it was only proper to do the same.  Right?

In the last twenty-four hours, friends and family have been a-flurry in a massive amount of liking and commenting. I love my friends and family for being happy for me, but it all seems a little strange. I really haven’t accomplished anything other than fooling some poor fool into thinking I was worth hanging around for longer than a week. Furthermore, the core of who I am hasn’t changed all that much. The way I parse my time? Sure, although I think that is more due to the ever-looming dissertation than the relationship.

I continue to fail to get what the big deal is. I happened to be lucky enough to find someone I’m compatible with, with whom I may be with for a while. There are no guarantees that this status will last. Do I hope? Of course I do, but I also hope my friends and family are prepared for the chance of my status reverting back to single. Will they see that as a tragedy, as some of them have seen this as a triumph?

Such questions. 


  1. I have such mixed feelings about the facebook relationship status and the immediate commentary it elicits. I ended up removing that part of my profile instead of changing it. Wish you all the best!

  2. Here's the thing: he did change his, so I felt like I had to change mine. It was weird, but I guess this is one of those strange things about relationships in a technological world.